Philosophy / Reflective

The Sombre Joker

My life has turned into a mockery of sorts,
And I’ve been made the sombre joker,
Dark pain hides and eats me inside,
Regret does gnaw, but all under the veneer of an unsuspecting smile.

As a child in childhood impulsive,
As a boy in boyhood bold,
And now as a teen in teenage impetuous,

Confusion rings in my head,
Frustration draping all logic, all reason,
Life losing it’s beauty and season,
My body, an empty chalice save anger under a hide,
All other emotions having been left aside,

Changed have I so much that I no longer see myself,
Changed have I from a benevolent lad to a beast of dark lore,
Changed have I from a prodigious to a prodigal son,
Changed have I from a carefree bubble of joy
To a heavy piece of sombre black lead,
Failed have I the hourglass’s test,

For once I was a reflection of mirth, A mirror of poise, A grey shade of elegance, An image of optimism,

But now as I sit my head held in my arms,
The image dear, having been shattered,
The shards of present and the ghosts of past,
Slice through me and make the pain last,

The heat of guilt burns through me,
It expands engulfing, this vast inferno,
The agony sears right through my heart,
As I repent the decisions out of haste I’d taken,
Charring my body to ash as though I was laid on a pyre,

But my spirit though withered and burning,
Shall rise up and soar,
A Phoenix dying of mistakes,
Burning up, aflame
But rising from the ashes,
Each time rising more refined than before!

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